Today has been a pretty awful day for me. I’ve been so nervous and worried all day today. I just can’t stop worrying that I’m going to miscarry again. I’ve never had a good pregnancy experience, so it’s really hard to stay positive. It doesn’t help that I had four hours at home by myself with nothing really to do. My husband called me when he was on his way home and I just broke down crying. He ended up picking up some pregnancy tests for me. I immediately peed on one and the line came up right away! The pregnant line was darker than the control line! I feel a bit better now. I’m sure I will freak out until I see the ultrasound on the 28th. Of course, then I’ll freak out until I’m 12 weeks. I hope I can eventually chill out and just enjoy my pregnancy.
Anyway, today I am 4 weeks and 5 days. I’m meeting a friend on Friday (I will be 5 weeks) for lunch. She and I were pretty good friends when I was in elementary school, and we were neighbors for about 10 years. Our families have been friends for 19 years. She had a miscarriage last November, so we have been getting together to talk about everything we’ve been through. It’s nice having a friend who understands everything. Last time we got together (April 8th) she said that her period was late but she was too scared to test. Well, since then, she has been posting some things on Facebook that make me wonder if she really is pregnant. She told a friend that she couldn’t get together because she has been feeling nauseated. She also has some friends who have been asking her how things are going and then adding a wink-y face. If she is pregnant I would guess that she is about 9 or 10 weeks. I’m wondering if she will tell me on Friday and if that’s why she wanted to meet. I decided that if she tells me that she’s pregnant, I will tell her that I am. If something happens, I would tell her anyway so I don’t mind telling her early. I’m kind of excited for someone outside of the family to know that I’m pregnant. I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I don’t want to have to “untell” everyone should something happen.
My ultrasound is in NINE days!! I can’t wait! I just want to know that my little “Poppy” is doing OK.
Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
Leave a Reply